The Unsweetened Curse of the Geauga County Maple Festival
Is the Geauga County Maple Festival cursed and maybe doomed?
I hope not. Time will tell.
The 2023 Maple Festival weather confirms the point: rain, cool, wind, dreary skies and rumors of sunshine. Years of apocalyptic weather document this trend. Chardon averages 107 inches of snow per year and the festival’s mud is thrown in for free.
In 1926, a local Chardon merchant, Art Carlson, and his friends had the idea to promote a festival so Chardon could compete with Vermont’s maple syrup industry. He worried about the predicted snowfall that first year. The bad weather could reduce attendance. Carlson hoped for 5,000 attendees, but 15,000 festival-goers came out. Success, but the curse had already started its sticky sabotage. Snow did fall in 1926.
Here are recent AI generated proofs of the curse of the Geauga Maple Festival.
2017, rain and snow; 2011, strong winds; 2008 heavy snow requiring the festival organizers to push back the festival until the last weekend in April; 2005, one and one-half feet of snow collapsed the festival’s tents and the festival-goers’ spirits forcing the festival to be delayed for two weekends. This is chapter and verse.
WW II cancelled the festival from 1942-1945, but that was not the festival curse but rather the Nazi curse.
It is not the organizers’ fault, nor the vendors, nor the good people of Geauga County, nor the unrepentant, nor the local politicians (mostly). Politicians may not be responsible, but there may be other things that they have slipped by us that we have missed so blaming some politicians for the festival’s bad weather is proactive and an admonition to them that we are watching!
There is an abundance of hard work put into the festival by the planners, the city services, the entertainers, the musicians, the vendors, and there is an avalanche of enthusiasm invested by the children who wait a full year for the event, some of whom are very adept at writing forged notes from their “parents” so they can skip school on Thursday and Friday to attend the event.
We overlook this youthful indiscretion because there are adults attending the festival whose employers think that their employees are sick at home, or that the great-aunt of a loyal employee has had the unlucky experience of expiring twice.
Readers may require proof of this alleged Maple Festival curse, but well-researched theories can only be offered with a firm trust in the gentle reader’s open mind.
Theory #1: The Hanging Rock Curse
On Feb. 1, 1823, Benjamin Wright Jr. stabbed and murdered Zophar Warner due to a money dispute; Wright was tried by the authorities and hung at the “hanging rock” in Chardon on May 15, 1823.
Did Wright curse Chardon and its future? The local paper at the time reported that he seemed contrite and resigned to his fate, but dropping six feet on his way to perdition might have changed Wright’s charitable opinion of Chardon. Insensitively, the wood from the Wright’s gallows was used to build a porch on South Street owned by a Mr. J. O. Worallo.
Piling on in 2012, Wright’s trial and conviction were re-enacted in Chardon using the original court records. Folks, this is just salt in Wright’s wounds. You can only taunt and “stir” up a specter so far.
Theory #2: The Melon Heads Curse
Melon Heads are among us. A noted blogger and poet in Geauga County observed, “I know you believe in the Melonheads, just as I do. We know they come from somewhere near the Chardon-Kirtland border, where Geauga County meets Lake County. We even think we know the name of the road near their haunt. We know that old Dr. Crowe, with his evil brain experiments and genetic research, unleashed these monsters.”
We speak badly of the Melon Heads, gaslighting them harshly, even though it is believed that they are politically neutral. Melon Heads are reportedly small humanoids with large heads that allegedly attack and harangue people in this area.
Chardon high school students, past and present, harass and search for them at night. These hurtful allegations and provocations have likely ticked off the Melon Heads over the years and their sweet revenge may be the awful Maple Festival weather.
To stop their curse, we may have to seek equity for the Melon heads, offer apologies, and start a “Melon Festival” in their honor. Seems only right.
Theory #3: The Vermont Curse
Have you heard of Vermont? They brag that their maple syrup is the nation’s best; their Maple Syrup association gilds their reputation by stating that they are “dedicated to producing the highest quality maple syrup found anywhere in the world.” Anywhere in the world?
Vermont is not above cursing the Geauga Maple Syrup Festival. Jealousy is not a pretty thing. It is the “Green” Mountain State after all. We may have found the source of the Maple Festival’s bad weather.
There are no “alternative facts” here. Vermont’s oldest maple festival has taken place for only 54 years compared to Geauga’s 97 years, John Fitzgerald Kennedy and Jackie Kennedy attended Geauga’s Festival in 1959, and humble Geauga County has taken on the whole state of Vermont and produced a finer product, with less water, more sugar, and less brag.
Will the Geauga Maple Festival go on?
Geauga Countians are determined to make it so. Maple syrup must be sold, fair-goers must be sweetened, pancakes must be griddled, ax-throwers must make their point, bathtubs must be raced if not used, princes and princesses must be crowned, blue-grass musicians must perform “Orange Blossom Special” one more time, politicians with new ideas must ride in antique cars, polka bands must yodel, fire trucks must parade, auctioneers must sell, maple producers must produce their art, and the City of Chardon must perform the fond tradition of cleaning up Chardon Square.
Will the weather win? Will the curse win?
Not if the sweet and resilient Geauga Countians make amends to Benjamin Wright Jr, apologize to the Melon Heads, and place the blame squarely on the heads of the Vermont maple syrup wannabees.
While we are at it, Geauga County never tried to secede from the Union, Vermont tried to secede to Canada in 1777. Say no more!
Geauga County Maple syrup is “Golden,” and “Grade A.”
