Parmertor Memorial Fund to Host Annual Fundraiser March 25
When Dina Parmertor received a text Feb. 26, 2012 from her son, she couldn’t have known it would be the last message she’d receive from him.
When Dina Parmertor received a text Feb. 26, 2012 from her son, she couldn’t have known it would be the last message she’d receive from him.
It was a Sunday night, and she’d just said goodbye to him earlier as he went skiing with his friends. The text was about something he needed for the next morning — the type of message most any mom is used to receiving.
Being a nurse working a night shift, she had her phone off, not thinking twice about it.
But to this day, that text remains etched in her memory. It was the last communication she received from her son, Danny Parmertor.
“I have pictures of those texts,” Dina said Feb. 26, 2022, on the eve of the 10-year anniversary of the mass shooting that claimed her son’s life. “I still have his name and the phone number he had. It’s still in my ‘favorites.’”
On the morning of Feb. 27, 2012, Danny, 16, and two of his Chardon High School classmates — Demetrius Hewlin, 16, and Russell King Jr., 17 ¬— were shot and killed by a fellow classmate, who also maimed three others, paralyzing one of them, Nick Walczak, from the waist down.
Dina reflected on the last decade, the grief journey, the memorial fund her family created to keep Danny’s memory alive, and how she and her husband, Bob, and children — Dominic, 29, and Jenna, 24 — have learned to cope with the ever-present absence of their beloved son and brother.
“I’ve learned a lot. My husband, my son, daughter … all four of us all totally grieve differently,” she said. “Because you’re only focused on yourself (when you’re grieving), it took me a long time to realize that the way they were doing it was OK. We’re coping, we’re not healed. We’re never going to be healed. We have a hole in our family. We were a family of five and now we’re a family of four.”
Dina said every February, a feeling of dread and anxiety creeps in as the date of the shooting approaches, adding she always takes the day off of work and spends her time looking at pictures of Danny and allowing herself to feel every emotion that arises.
This year, a special prayer service was held Feb. 27 at St. Mary’s Church in Chardon for all the victims and their families, as well as for the community and those who helped during and after the shooting.
Dina, her family, and the family of the other victims attended the multi-faith service, where Doug Murray, now principal at CHS, described how the event changed him, as well as the community.
“Ten years ago, our community was impacted by an act of violence. The foundation of 148 years of graduates and 200 years as a community was cracked by one day. One act, on one day,” Murray said. “Our families, staff, students and community were heartbroken and numb, leaving us unsettled in our spirit. Countless heroes stood grounded and poised that day that gave us strength. Many of them are here today. The families who lost their loved ones, our teachers, our staff, our first responders and our community were all impacted in so many different ways.”
Helping to plan the service was therapeutic in some ways, Dina said, adding she has released a lot of resentment she had had toward school administrators and engaged in a warm conversation with Murray.
Creating the Danny Parmertor Memorial Fund — which is holding its annual fundraiser from 6:30 to 11:30 p.m. March 25 at LaMalfa Party Center in Mentor — has also been beneficial for her family.
“We just wanted … a way to remember Danny, to honor him. A lot of my family says that it’s very helpful in a way of coping. You’re trying to do good in Danny’s honor,” Dina said of the fund, which awards students from Chardon High School and Auburn Career Center scholarships in the technology field. “We came up with this because (Danny) was such a technology kid. That’s what he liked, computers and Xbox and all of that.
“Obviously, he didn’t get to college, so we wanted to find students who are going into that field,” she added. “We have a committee, it’s five people. We get all the applications, we read them all, we decide who qualifies, we like to meet the students. There’s no rules on how many (students get the scholarships). Once we meet them, it’s always hard because we want to award everybody, so that’s always the hardest part. What we give sort of depends on what we have, what we raise at the fundraiser.”
The fundraiser is for people 21 and older and will include a buffet dinner, open bar, sideboards, and Chinese and silent auctions.
“It’s a special night and it’s a good feeling. And we want people to know where their money is going,” said Dina, adding the memorial fund website showcases students who receive scholarships so donors can see exactly who benefits.
“These students and their families, they’re so thankful,” she said. “If we can give a little bit of help on the financial end, that’s huge (for them).”
As Dina reflected on the ways the fund has helped keep her son’s memory alive, she also shared the ways she feels his presence every day.
“I say things like, ‘Alright Danny, you gotta help me out here,’” Dina said, joking she especially asks him for help with technology challenges. “There are definitely signs that I see. He is showing us things or goofing around with us. I believe there are no coincidences, so that’s how I’m looking at things today.”
And when she meets with student applicants for the scholarship money, Dina often feels her son with her.
“I’m always looking for a little bit of Danny in (them).”
Visit www.thedannyparmertormemorialfund.org/events/ for more information on the fundraiser and to purchase tickets.
