By Jacquie Foote As has been said before in this…
By Jacquie Foote As has been said before in this column, one would be quite mistaken to think of early Geaugans as rude rustics people…
By Jacquie Foote
As has been said before in this column, one would be quite mistaken to think of early Geaugans as rude rustics people of little education and poor manners. From the beginning, the vast majority of the settlers here were from a class where both manners and education were important.
Of course, manners then were different, both more formal and oddly enough, sometimes less so, than now. Perhaps one explanation of this phenomenon is that there were really two sets of manners back then … everyday manners and what used to be called, company manners. Both kinds of manners were taught at home and the more formal manners were reinforced in school. Manners changed more slowly over time back then (no mass media, you see) but by the time the Western Reserve was being settled, American manners had already begun changing from those only 30 some years before when we first became a nation.
At first, Americans had mostly reflected the customs and manners of England. But, after Americans became independent, they were loath to bow to anyone. By the time Geauga was settled, the bow of the gentleman and the curtsy of the lady were less and less seen. In the 1700s, American children observed that when two men or two women of equal status met for the first time in a formal social situation, they would greet each other with a bowing of the head. When a man met a woman in such a situation, he would bow from the waist and she would curtsy. Children were taught to bow or curtsy to adults in such situations, deeply the first time and less so thereafter. (The bow was from the waist and the man removed his hat first. It signified deference to a superior or an equal. The curtsy, which is a combination of a bow of the head with a knee bend, is said to have descended from the practice of lowering ones body before a superior.)
It all sounds complicated, yes? And it was. So, lets take our time and look at it piece by piece.
Lets say that a boy and his sister are accompanying their parents to a store in 1830s Geauga. The family would be dressed well, though in second best clothes. Although short pants were considered correct for boys under the age of 12, many in Geauga allowed their sons to wear long pants for farm chores and even for second best occasions. (Perhaps it was the general lay of the land that led to this.) The girl, if under the age of 14, would have on an ankle length dress, likely covered by a pinafore. Boy, girl, man, woman … all would be wearing hats.
If the family came upon an acquaintance, they all knew the rules of courtesy to follow. This is not a truly formal occasion, nor is it a relaxed, fun occasion. Although there were some who held to the old ways and would make a formal bow and would demand their children do likewise, by the 1820s, a Geaugan man would tip his hat and nod to a lady in the street (and would do the same to a man of higher status) and the lady would nod her head slowly in greeting.
A man would bring the two first fingers of his right hand to his hat upon meeting a man of equal age and status. Women would do the slow head nod to other women of like age and status. Men never spoke to other men or ladies in public with their hats on.
As for the children, unless they were addressed directly, they were to stand politely and quietly. If they were spoken to, the boy would remove his hat and bow slightly. The girl would do a bob curtsy. If the child was introduced to the adult, the child was expected to use the proper honorific and last name of that adult in addressing him (or her) (An honorific tells the relationship or the position in society of the adult. Mrs. indicated the lady was married. Miss told she was not. All men were Mr.)
Children NEVER used an adults first name without an honorific. If the adult was dear to the childs family, he or she would be accorded a courtesy title that the child would use in addressing that adult. For example, if Mrs. Marie Smith were a mere acquaintance of the Jones family, the Jones children would address her as Mrs. Smith. But if she were a very close friend to the family, the Jones parents would instruct their children to address Mrs. Marie Smith as Aunt Marie. (This custom continued well into the 1980s, and among some, is still used today.)
For information on the events at the Geauga County Historical Society’s Burton Century Village Museum, call 440-834-1492 or visit www.geaugahistorical.org.
